How I Have Better Orgasms
How I Have Better Orgasms
Actually, don’t imagine that you’re in a courtroom telling someone where you want them to touch you by pointing at parts on a doll. That’s fucking creepy! Moving on… Anyway, my point is to be graphic; be pointed and be bold. Throw your inhibitions out the damn window! Talking Dirty Examples Please! The love language we share with those we’re most comfortable with is interesting. We often save our kinkiest, dirtiest, vocabulary for the folks we’re most intimate with. At least that’s my experience. I say “cock,” “pussy,” and “fuck” a lot anyway and in case I’m talking to someone via text I generally use the same language. All in all it depends on what your situation calls for. You might call each other “mommy” and “daddy,” and if so that’s fucking great. I don’t give a shit. Whatever sets you off, just go with it while making no excuses. If you’d like someone to touch your dick, be brash about it, say “cock” or whatever it is that your love language dictates. If you’re going to ask someone to cum on your breasts, use “breasts” or “tits” don’t say “boobs” or “boobies” that’s just fucking weird and adolescent… But it’s not always about writing fuck, tits and cock.
Sometimes you need to develop things a bit; talk about the journey, or the stops along the way. Some folks really love that. I’m one of em. Sure, you can play nice at first, take things slowly and escalate the action, if you will.yuki ame stripchat That’s what I like. But, then, it’s not almost me. I have to let the other person know how I want them to feel. I want them to anticipate me; I want to tease them about the “revenge fisting” they’re about to receive. Or, you know, whatever kinky fucking thing you perverts are into these days. I obviously like to tell someone what I’m going to do to them, probably even more than reading what someone else writes to me. I get into a zone and I just go with it… Obviously. Most women, in my experience, don’t want to be in control. Now, that’s not to say that all women are that way, just the ones I’ve dated or been with. So I take solid control in text, too.
if you’d like them to feel unsafe, scared or not in control you have to communicate that. I’ve definitely asserted, in words, that I’m in control and I got a good response from it. Whatever the picture is you’re painting, it always helps to provide the narrative…it’s absolutely imperative. What are we missing here? You may have noticed that I didn’t even speak about photos. Sexting includes images, more times than not. I generally don’t send them unless asked. That’s about the only time a woman gets a dick pic from me. Although, my loins tell me that I need to start sending unsolicited cock pics out pronto! I might have to! I don’t prefer photos in this sort of encounter.
I think the image I conjure in my mind is much more powerful than an image sent to me. Your mileage may vary, of course. I’m not telling you not to, I just think you will get more out of the experience if it’s purely sextual. Breaking it down It’s a easy concept but hard to execute. That said, I really recommend the following 1. Keep it simple. 2. Understand they want to fuck you just as bad as you want to fuck them 3. With #2 in mind, tell them how bad and how you want to fuck them. 4. Use your words and be fucking perverted about it, keep it adult, unless your kink takes you back to elementary school, you sick fucks. =) 5. Decide if you’re going to paint a picture or not and commit. 6. Imagination is key. Use it.
Don’t cheat with other imagery. Trust me here. In this day in age with have some amazing ways to get our freak on, but using SMS and a little imagination is still pretty kick ass. Share your own tips below. Giggity! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin3 Posted in: Sex Tagged in: how to sext, how to talk dirty, Sex, sexting, talking dirty I adore Coach bags. I was drooling over a new satchel bag online and decided to go to the Coach store to view it in person. When I arrived at the store to purchase it, imagine my surprise that the bag was called a mini! It was half the size of a regular bag. I realized that a mini wouldn’t do; I need a full size bag. I meet a attractive guy and the chemistry was awesome.
I thought to myself that this had the potential to turn into something. After much flirting, we finally exchanging phone numbers, and eventually the time arrived to become intimate. I went to his home and we ended up in the bedroom only to have things go downhill from there. The bed was strewn with all kinds of things (screw drivers, dryer sheets, clothes, etc.) which he then pushed on the floor.
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With a small amount of foreplay (he didn’t like to kiss!), we stripped down. Warning!!!! He had a small penis and he was having trouble becoming aroused. He seemed to blame me because his penis was not cooperating! What is a woman to do in this situation??? I immediately wanted to flee. I feel like men with small packages should come with a warning label. There is no way that a woman could be forewarned about this issue.
Not only was his penis small, it didn’t even work properly. Men can see a woman’s breast size or at least get an idea, even with push up bras. A view of the butt is straightforward; what you see is what you will get. However, the man’s package is hidden; even if you rub up against it, the size is unknown. You have to give some room for inflation. It gets worse. After rolling around on the bed and changing positions, I ended up sliding off the bed onto the floor. His bed was made with a flat sheet which had begun to slip of the mattress. As I sat on the floor, startled, he complained that I had fallen off the bed. As opposed to helping me up, he stood behind me thumping me on top of my head with this penis!
He was still attempting to make his small, floppy penis erect! I could not make this up. I pushed him back but he didn’t seem to care. I was frantically thinking of way to escape. Was I being punked???? Sitting on the floor, I grabbed my clothing and starting redressing myself. He kneeled down on the floor and tried to continue being intimate. I’ve often heard the old joke that after drinking a lot of a man wakes up next to a ugly woman.
In a panic not to wake her but desperate to get away he chews his own arm off. But what direction to go when your naked in bed and realize that the man’s penis is miniature? How do you flee with dignity? The worse part? The man really thought he was doing something. His small, uncooperative penis was not making an effect on me– I just wanted to go home. Then, he got up and wandered into the bathroom; I threw on my clothes and quietly, quickly wandered out of the front door. I never looked back. Once I had asked him if he was good in bed, and he told me that no woman had ever complained. I joked that if it was bad could I demand compensation. I guess what I should have asked is if any woman ever returned for a repeat performance! Some things may be worked with (a bad kisser, lackluster foreplay, and even sexual moves); however, there is no way to do business with a miniature package. [Editorial note: This editor firmly disagrees with the above statement; sexual prowess is about so much more than the anatomy we can’t control.
There are lots of approaches to bang and have sexual fun without having a big dick and nothing will make up for lousy foreplay or awful kissing, but to each their own.] This by far has been the worse sexual experience that I have ever had. Men never seem to be deterred by the penis size. Some even try and compensate with oral sex, enhancement pills, sex toys or other ploys. However, nothing can replace the need for an actual working penis. Unfortunately, if the penis is a mini I don’t know what can help that. Needless to say, this is one phone number that I have blocked on my phone. What I learned from this experience is that I need a full size and not a mini. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Sex Tagged in: bad date, bad dates, Casual Dating, Dating, men, one night stand, penis issues, Sex, single, singles There’s nothing like a pandemic to stir up your dating life.topadultreview.com The virus has upended the economy, public health systems, and politics of nearly every country in the world. Some more than others. People’s social lives, livelihoods, and personal lives have seriously “borne” the change. What will happen: Here’s my take on what will happen now, the next coming months, and possibly the future. Some of it is personal, but most of it is observational and based on my analysis on the nature of dating. The Truth More than ever.
People will be extremely intentional with their time. Corona not only has created a health risk- but a social and economic one. Is he/she worth risking A, X, Y, and Z? It begs the question on whether dating this person (being in close contact) is worth the health risk of not only me but all the other people taking part in both of our lives? Also, with people losing their jobs and money growing tighter, can I afford to continue to date this person? Where have my priorities shifted? Casual relationships without aim, without intention, without substance will cease to exist. On the other end of the spectrum, if you are already coupled or married, or interim serious (pushed to living together now), all those little weak spots in the relationship will begin to show and…crack. Because there’s. No. Escape. Corona will test the casual, the interim, and the serious relationship all alike! Desperation, Indulgence, and Control Because corona is so stressful and overwhelming and simply, life-altering, desperation will rear its horns.
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People will want to be super conscious and pragmatic, but people are way too human. You could slip up. Because you’re lonely.
You’re thirsty. You’re lonely and thirsty. Lonely cause you’re thirsty. Thirsty cause you’re lonely. You know the loop. I don’t know if this would result in doing something as novel and risky (corona-wise) as having a one-night stand with a complete stranger. But this could be as innocuous and still as guilty-ridden as sober texting your ex. I Am guilty of that, and got a less-than-an-enthusiastic reply. The point is more than anything, we all are seeking Some control in our lives. What seems, psychologically, the best way to do that? Something risky the other big. That’s why you see people get divorced or quit their jobs abruptly. To take control of their lives.
Outside of corona, that happens. Corona now lurking in the background heightens our desire for change. Everything There comes the soul-changing. With the majority of the US, under the shelter-in-place laws, citizens face this almost abysmal vacuum of time (that was once dedicated to their work, their lifestyle choices, and leisure). Also known as distractions. “Divided we stand, United we fall,” I heard some form of, somewhere from a friend. Corona has unlocked the most devilish animalistic urges and the angelic altruistic notions of humans alike. Hate crimes and front-line worker campaigns. Music in balconies and discrimination. Panic-buying, social distancing, and zooming are our new norms. Corona will shake your body, your mind, and yes, your soul/your spirit/your identity (or whatever you want to call it). And this will trickle into your love life. Heck, you’re going to be alone. And learning and encountering new ways of loving.
All kinds of loving. Loving your friends, your family, and your community through foreign methods. And this can open different modes of fulfilling your desire for love. This epidemic might truly enlighten what you want out of love- and a partner ( since it makes that dead space in life abundantly clear). And that might not even include a partner. Maybe all I really want in my life right now is to write that next big dating novel (cough, cough). Start teaching myself how to make foamy Dalgona coffee from just instant. Or maybe I want to get away and live on an earthship. Start partnering with an entirely virtual non-profit. Or maybe I just want to emulate single and badass Mother F* Teresa.
Nothing (Disclaimer***) This of course, is for the exception. It’s the rule that there are exceptions to this epidemic and people whose lives will not fundamentally change because of their either life circumstances or world view. Yes, I still see you playboys on Tinder who want to hook up like everything is normal. Hey, it’s your life. Hah, I’ll live mine. Adaptation It’s hard to be positive in this time, but we must. It’s hard to love, but we can. Every conflict is somehow an opportunity. Corona has kind of slowed our fast-paced, app-driven dating world. It has made us restless in a conditioned gratifying world. So what does that look like in our daily lives as we are adapting? What does love look like now, that we can’t easily just meet up and perpetuate into the fast lane of modern dating? We can get to know each other. It’s almost as if we have been brought into a Jane Austen world, but cellphones are still a thing… Bring on the pen pal letters!
Carry the existential discussions. Go on the Zoom dates (yes, that’s thing). Take hold of this time, where I’m able to get to know me better so I can get to know you better. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Events, Online Dating, Self Tagged in: #corona, #coronadating, #dating, #relationship #love #passion #ideas, #selflove #keeper #relationship #love If you don’t remember the last time you weren’t in a relationship, casually dating, or in an infatuation-ship, this list is for you. Raised in a world, where marriage and partnership is the norm, how is a singleton suppose to feel? They’re either seen as spurned victims or glorified bachelors; It’s never that black and white. What if it’s not simply about self-love but honestly just being a whole, life-loving human being? There IS the apparent solace of solitude but there’s more. I don’t think it’s about being okay with being alone and not feeling lonely. I think it’s about being okay with being lonely and not feeling alone. Here are 10 Things to jumpstart that: 1. Take that Day On This can run in that all familiar vein of ‘self-love.’ Like the self-help regimen of exercise, work habits, and hobbies…This could also be the self-destructive but just as cathartic rebound madness. Seize the day for possibilities of both growth and set-back.
It’s all beautiful. And necessary. 2. Ex-capade Every now and then, after a major break-up or rut in dating, I like to go on a nostalgic journey of revisiting my exes (in memory, though also rarely, in person). It’s funny, bittersweet, and form of entertaining. You’re like your own Love PI-investigating when, where, how you got to this point. Dig up past dirt. And maybe uncover some new leads in the process. 3. Fast Fasting in some cultures or religions, means to abstain from food or all instinctual desires (hunger, thirst, sex, and shelter). When I say you should ‘fast,’ I mean to not per that literal extreme, though some might dig that spiritually. What I mean is to see how long your mind, body, and even soul can withstand without instant gratification. And Greed. It’s good to ask yourself if the reason you’re unhappy is because you’ve lost sight of what to appreciate. Sometimes, what I want is the last thing I need. 4. Take that Day Off In the lieu of all this singledom, I write as if to produce single life so sexy. When it’s not.
And that’s okay. Whether you just got dumped or you serially dump or you have a long-term (maybe slightly toxic) relationship with your career, being single is about lovin being lazy. T-shirt. Grunge. Sloppily. Because when YOU are in focus, sure, you can give away caution from the significants of life like bills, emotional intimacy, work, or family. Right? 5. Strawman But on the other side, at some point, to get most of this list…you should just be highly critical of yourself as f**k. Like, heck, man what are you doing wrong? Like, what is wrong with you. Yeah, I know what’s wrong with you. At least I know, an inkling.
So maybe let’s face the mirror then and peer all so hesitantly but astutely so. It’s very easy to Strawman your ex as in augment all his/her flaws as to burn the relationship to dust. Sometimes, it IS you. In fact, for the most part it is. Wait, what? What is fact? Strawman yourself. 6. Help Someone Else the majority of the most satisfying things in life is to reward someone else. Whether you volunteer or help those in way greater need than you, it’s invigorating. Yes, you will get the warm, fuzzy feelings, but you also, get this incredible sense of gratitude, empowerment, and wisdom. There’s also this microscopic-macroscopic interchange that happens when you help someone else. Your world lens doesn’t seem so magnified in its all drama because it overlaps with someone else’s. You feel content in your smallness in realizing the world’s (with everyone else) bigness.
But, heck, you’re part of that. We are all in this big, crazy world together. 7. Deepen As I’ve gotten older, I realize, no matter who you are with, who you become, or where you are, you’ll feel lonely. But that loneliness…maybe it’s not so bad. Its what evolutionary psychologists argue is a survival mechanism in which motivates humans to seek mates, procreate, and ultimately live in niched families. Yes. But what if it’s pivotal to being human? What if it’s essential and something that should be simply embraced? Maybe loneliness is just a leaf from where human struggle ‘stems’ from. Very philosophical, punny and potentially dodgy metaphor. Noted. But, overall, inward reflection can really make you gain perspective on all your relationships romantic or not. How do they all relate with the humanness in you? Personally, I don’t think it’s about being okay with being alone and not feeling lonely. I think it’s about being okay with being lonely and not feeling alone. 8. Have an Irresistible Crush On a somewhat lighter note, I think when you’re single, you’re excused that one consuming and unhealthy crush.
Your College Professor. Ex’s friend. Your co-worker. The douche you know you’re still attracted to. The situationship that you’ll never escape from. I mean you’re still always technically single till you act on it. Crush time! 9. (Blank) This is reserved for you (the reader). What have you been holding yourself back from doing? This is reserved for any particular one book you’ve been delaying on. To publish. That trip you’ve been wanting to go on. Since you were 16. That career change.
That gelato flavor. Anything! It’s the first thing that flashed in your mind when reading this. Sure it ran fast. So chase it. 10. Write A dating blog be you or be like, haha, me. Writing a dating blog is one of the most satisfying, cathartic, and fun things in life I’ve come across. I thank founder Alex Vasquez and all the other contributors for making this such a wonderful platform. You don’t know till you try. Happy Reading (and Writing 😊 ). Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!
Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook8Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating, Self, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Dating & Relationships / Dating Apps / Dating Sites, single When you read dating advice, it seems like men and women are different species who can only communicate through emotional manipulation.